Do what you can do

I’ve really wanted to write something, anything, on here to inform the world that my little life has changed again, but wasn’t sure I was allowed to. No, I haven’t joined some freaky religious cult or the CIA, but I have entered into new territory, for sure. This new “thing” is surrounded by lots of guidelines, rules and privacy, but apparently I am allowed to discuss my experience without giving too many specific details. SO……

I AM OFFICIALLY A FOSTER MOM!!!

WE ARE A FOSTER FAMILY!!!!

This process has been over a year in the works and much longer in my heart before we ever officially knocked on the door of The Children’s Aid Society of Hamilton and said, “What do we need to do to care for children that really need a home?”.

There have been lots of hoops to jump through and at times I have wondered if there would ever be an end to all the interviews, training, and safety checks. I have continued to see the notices in our local paper that the CAS is in desperate need of foster parents, and found myself thinking, “We’re right here!” I have prayed, “God, when will this process be DONE already?”.  I have kept my excitement at arm’s length for over 13 months, trying to patiently (ahem) accept that these things take time.

And now, She is here. And She is absolutely the one we were meant to have first. I brought her home from the hospital just days after her birth, marveling that her name means “God’s messenger”, knowing  that when I look at her I am seeing God’s hand at work in her life and ours.

But here’s the thing. I’m sort of getting annoyed about something, something I didn’t anticipate….the response of all those I come into contact with that are oohhing and aahhing over Her and then turn to me and say emphatically over and over again, “I could never do that.” or “I could never give her up after having her from birth like that.”  or “It’s going to be so difficult when she goes.” or “This is going to be so tough on your family.”

I am kind in my responses. I am, I promise.

But in my head, I get onto my soapbox and want to say, “Well, I didn’t become a foster mom because I thought, “I will have no trouble giving up a child, I’m pretty calloused and aloof with my own kids, so, hey why not?” NO, OF COURSE NOT!

I really want to tell these people that it’s time we start making decisions not based on our fears of the future, but on our faith in our God.

If you are a Christian, if the spirit of the living God dwells inside you, if the same spirit that raised Christ from the dead inflates your mortal body, then I have some good news for you…

YOU CAN DO HARD THINGS.

Yes, you.

You don’t have to stay on the path of least resistance. In fact, the Bible pretty clearly says that life is hard and that we shouldn’t seek to isolate ourselves from troubles and difficulties. Those nuisances are simply part of living on this planet, but we do not need to live in FEAR of them. When the Bible says in Romans that we are more than conquerors, I am pretty sure it means we have been equipped to go out and fight and win some difficult battles. How else can we conquer something unless there is struggle and learning and challenge?

I will most likely be a wreck when the time comes for Her to move on from our home.  Absolutely. But I would not trade these moments of caring for Her in for a more comfortable, safe life. I am choosing to believe the Word of God that says I can do ALL things, even this, through Christ who strengthens me.

She is my starfish, my first one (http://www.starrbrite.com/starfish.html), and this makes a difference for Her. Thank you, Jesus, for your strengthening. I am so honored to have Her.

I don’t think foster parenting is for everyone. (Although, if you think it might be for you, BY ALL MEANS, contact your Children’s Aid office immediately! Oh, the need is so great.)

But I can’t help but think that Jesus might be asking you,  “Then what WILL you do, if not this?”

We can do hard things. We just have to stop thinking we can’t.

Please, do what you can do.

I have concerns

Last night I saw the new X-Men movie, Wolverine. In preparation, Katie and I watched all of the other X-Men movies over the course of the last week. It had been awhile since either of us had seen them, and we wanted to be fully ready to “engage” in the new one.

By Friday, we were more than ready. We bought our tickets online to make sure we would be able to get in to the showtime that we wanted to. We stuffed our purses full of “outside” food. We drove to the theater early. We picked perfect seats. Then we hit a glitch.

As we were sitting there in our perfect seats, we watched as several families walked in with their very small children in tow. These kids could not have been more than 3 or 4 years old. At first all I could think was that I hoped they would be quiet during the movie. Then some much less selfish thoughts started coming to me.

Should 3 and 4 year olds even be allowed to see this movie?  I mean, sure, it’s based on the Marvel comic, but it’s not exactly Disney Channel material. The movie is rated PG-13 for intense sequences of action and violence and partial nudity, and I think 13 should be the minimum age of someone watching it. I found myself thinking that the theater itself should have a no-admittance policy for movies such as these to children of such a young age. But the real issue extends beyond what the theater allows. The issue is that the parents and caregivers of these children deemed this a suitable movie for their kids to watch.

I realize that some parents are going to be more liberal (ok, a lot more liberal) in their views than me, but after sitting through the movie myself, I cannot imagine letting my own children watch it. It was VERY violent. I kept thinking, surely I will see these parents dragging their kids out of here any minute. But no such thing occurred.  I literally found myself distracted during the movie because I kept praying for the minds of these children being exposed to such violence.

And I just can’t help but wonder, Don’t these people worry about what these sorts of images do to a young child’s psyche? What about nightmares? Childhood fears?

I can remember watching a scary movie at my grandparents’ house when I was a kid. I don’t recall the name of it, but it was about people getting buried alive in an earthquake in a large city. The graphic images that I saw invaded my thoughts and dreams for a long time afterward. I am thankful this was a isolated incident for me, as I have heard lots of people share with me truly disturbing movies they watched at a young age.

In my opinion, this is not about Christian families and their views versus the “secular” views out there. This is about each parent out there doing what he or she can to protect the hearts and minds of the children in their care. After all isn’t it our job as parents to protect our children from unnecessary harm? The world is full of things my children need to learn about, but all in due time, when they are at a level of mental reasoning and processing that can handle it. I don’t want them to have to grow up any faster than they already have to.

Is anyone else bothered by this?